This week Radio 1 has been covering the very sad story of fourteen year old Izzy Dix who took her own life after telling her Mum that bullying at Brixham College was making her life hell. I listened to the devastating details and the heartbreak her family have had to endure and felt that nobody should have to go through that.
I have certainly seen an increase in school students requiring coaching around bullying issues. In my experience, the most successful outcomes arise when multiple parties get involved. That includes parents, friends, family and school staff. The forward-thinking schools that employ counsellors and coaches to assist students through the bullying minefield, are definitely improving the chances of a successful resolution and also helping to provide coping strategies for the future.
When I coach a student and bullying is a factor, here are some of the things that I do to encourage them to move forward:
- Speak to the school to clarify their policy on bullying and make sure that the student is also fully aware of it
- Listen actively to my student so that I can also hear what they are not saying about the situation
- Clarify what my student sees as bullying and what is not
- Find out what they want to happen and what they do not want happening in their lives
- Encourage them to build their support network of family, friends, and teachers so that they have someone to turn to both in and out of school
- Get them to understand communication is key for their support network to work effectively
- Help them take control and create choice for themselves
- Build coping strategies specifically for my student
- Coach students on all areas of life including health, wealth, relationships, career, school/work, spirituality, contribution and fun
- Increase confidence and self-esteem
- Set goals to enable them to shift their focus to something else
- Find out what is important to them in life and identify their core values
- Get them to do more of what makes them happy
In most cases, if the student is prepared to take action and follow this framework they will achieve results and move forward.
Please do let me know if you have found this useful – or if you or your school is interested in finding out more about what I do then please contact me.