I have just had the most amazing Birthday with my family and friends!

Last week I had a party to celebrate my 50th Birthday, and seeing many of my family and friends and spending time with everyone is what really made it for me.

Life changes so quickly these days and it is not until we spend time together that we learn the most about our nearest and dearest and what has changed for them. My party really showed me how my group of family and friends is constantly growing and evolving.

Some things that I noticed:

• My nieces and godchildren are growing up into gorgeous and funny people who bring me great joy
• My friends and I still like the things we used to do and still do them today which makes me very happy
• I love the fact that my family is growing and new members are coming to join us
• The smiling and laughter that still comes with getting together with everyone
• The reminiscing over old times
• The love and support never goes away

Reflecting over my party made me realise how lucky I am to be part of this outstanding group of people and my priority from now on is to spend more quality time with all of them.

Sometimes we just take for granted what is under our noses. My intention this year is to reflect and recognise what I have around me and embrace it more in my daily life.  I also received some stunning and beautiful gifts and feel very blessed and I have some wonderful things to look forward to next year as well.

I have decided to keep a gratitude diary over the coming year. At bedtime I will be reflecting over my day and writing 5 things that I am grateful or thankful for that have come from my day. Switching my focus to all the good things in my day is certainly going to have a positive impact on my mindset and approach. It will be interesting to see what difference it makes and I have a feeling it can only be good.

I can honestly say it has been fun to turn fifty and I look forward to seeing what my year brings.

Have a great week.

As mock exam time approaches at school, my requests to coach for anxiety always increase!

Over the years that I have been coaching I have noticed that clients initially talk to me about their anxiety to see how they can remove it from their lives. Working with these people to understand what anxiety is, how it affects them as an individual and building their awareness around it can enable them to make progress.

Many of my clients think that I will be able to make anxiety go away which is not the case. Sometimes just understanding that it is OK to feel anxious can lift a weight off my client’s shoulders. Anxiety is the body’s natural response to a situation that we are fearful of. I coach my clients to understand about their anxiety triggers and symptoms, build their awareness of what happens to their physiology and then put specific individual strategies into place that will move them forward.

If planning, preparation, practice, determination and perseverance are combined with their specific anxiety toolbox techniques then progress starts to happen. It takes a lot of repetition (40-70 times) to change the conscious mind into doing something different and you need to treble those repetitions in order to change the unconscious mind and do it on autopilot.

Most people struggle to maintain new habits because they only ever change the conscious part of their mind. Changing the unconscious mind requires much more work. Lots of practice and repetition will lead to a change in mindset and approach which subsequently allows us to maintain new habits long term. Many clients say to me that they have tried that strategy and it does not work, my question to them is ‘How many times have you practised?’ In most cases they have not practised enough.

If you know of someone who is anxious and would benefit from being coached then please contact me.

Remember – it is OK to feel anxious. It is what you do and the action you take that matters and will keep anxiety levels to a minimum

My week has been an interesting one which has seen me taking a different coaching approach, and putting on my trainers.

Understanding my students and listening to what makes them tick always gives me ideas to do something different and have some fun. In this case it certainly enabled me to move my student forward.

Football has never been one of my strengths although for one of my students it is a talent and a passion. I decided to change the format of our session by having it outside on the school playing field and asked him to coach me in order to improve my football skills.

I really struggled to stop any of the balls he kicked and he scored a goal every time.  He was quick to notice that I was losing focus on the ball as it came towards me so I had no chance of stopping it.  He gave me two pieces of advice:

• To keep my focus on the ball all the time
• To  turn my foot out and stop the ball with my instep

Having listened to his advice, I applied the knowledge and then managed to save three of his shots at goal. My improvement was significant and we discussed the difference that focus can make if we want to improve and achieve our goals.

Our session finished back in the classroom reflecting on what we had both learnt from doing something different. My student initially thought that he was not a good teacher and that improvement takes time. From our football coaching session he now knows that:

• He does have some teacher/coaching skills
• Change and improvement can be instant if we listen and apply new knowledge
• Staying focused enables you to achieve your goals

It was fantastic for me to see my student smiling, laughing and doing something he enjoys. And he now fully understands the importance of staying focused if he is to succeed in school and in later life.

I thoroughly enjoyed stepping outside of my comfort zone by doing something different. If you know of a young person that would benefit from life coaching then please contact me.

Have a great half term, I will be practising my new football (and focus) skills and having fun with family and friends. See you in November.

My week both at school and home has been busy and challenging and my students have made me work hard in order to move them forward and get results.

Reflecting over my week has made me realise how much I use my listening skills and how important that skill is if I am to be an effective coach and parent.

Listening actively and consistently is a huge part of my job.  It is vital if I am to make a difference so that my students achieve their goals. If I am listening 100% then I hear everything that they are telling me which enables me to ask the right questions. This then prompts them into thinking how they can specifically move themselves forward and what action they need to take to succeed.

What active listening also does is allow me to hear what is not being said! This can be the one thing that people really need to do in order to move forward.  It is usually what they prefer not to do or feel uncomfortable about doing so they do not talk about it. Listening actively allows me to hear what that is and make sure that it does not get missed.

Having also worked with parents and teaching staff  to help them communicate effectively with teenagers, listening skills are usually the main area we agree needs to improve.

So how are you listening?

Are you missing out on what is not being said?

If you would like to listen and communicate effectively with your children/pupils/staff then please contact me.

Have an outstanding week.

Recently I attended a lecture at Reading University by the psychology & clinical language sciences department regarding ‘The Secrets of Healthy Ageing’

I had not realised that the brain starts on its cognitive decline after the age of 20. This seemed very young to me although if we do the majority of our learning in the first three years of our lives then I suppose starting to decline from this age is reasonable.

We were told that the main areas we need to concentrate on if we are to assist ourselves during the decline are:

• Brain Training
• Nutrition
• Exercise

Professor Ryuta Kawashima spoke about daily tasks that will assist the pre-frontal cortex part of the brain and improve metacognition, memory and attention. He advised us to:

• Read newspaper articles out loud and as fast as you can for 5 minutes each day
• Play games like rock, paper, scissors as fast as you can
• Play number memory games with family members and partners, like repeating number sequences and reversing the order

He also stated that too much television affects the brain and will assist the cognitive decline.

Professor Jeremy P.E. Spencer spoke about nutrition and how certain foods with ‘flavonoids’ in them can improve blood flow and have a positive effect on brain function.

He advised that foods such as Blueberries, oranges, broccoli and the skins of apples and pears contain flavonoids and help to lower blood pressure.  Dark chocolate is good for vascular and cognitive health.

He also recommended drinking green and black tea, red wine and champagne (in moderation) and eating citrus fruits is good for the heart.

To maintain a healthy brain we need to:

• Eat a diet rich in fruit and veg (5+ a day) that is brightly coloured and astringent
• Check food labels and avoid being misled by commercial terms around ‘Superfoods’
• Aim for variety, don’t over consume and combine with exercise

Carien Van Reekum Ph.D talked about exercise and how it can help the brain with speed, reasoning, memory, and vocabulary.

One of the best forms of exercise is cycling to help promote cognitive function and changes in our well being. She talked about the Cycleboom Trial and how it positively impacted our brain cognition compared to several other exercise activities.

The presentation was very informative and I am sure it will assist me and also my coaching clients concerning their well-being.

If you want to make some changes and are struggling to reach your goals then please contact me.

Have a great week!

My summer holiday was fantastic and whilst I enjoyed myself I was also very productive. I had set myself a goal to paint every room of my house, which I finally completed last Monday! The help I received from my family enabled me to complete my task in three and a half months which I think is amazing so I had a glass of Prosecco to celebrate my achievement and admire my hard work.

I have now returned to school and the excitement and atmosphere of the new school year is very infectious and motivating. I love to hear what my students have been doing over the summer and where they have been, quite often to some beautiful and far away places.

For some of my students it can be quite unsettling as they start their two year run up to GCSE’s and A Levels and experience the realisation of all the hard work to come. An important part of my job as a coach is to assist them in finding a healthy balance between school and fun.

To enable them to deal with their workload and the pressure the work can bring we build a specific toolbox of techniques that will enable them to succeed over their busy years.

This is my favourite time of the year. I love the new school year with all the expectation, the start of autumn and the beautiful colours it brings to the world around us, my birthday in November and finally the vibrant and busy run up to Christmas and the social get togethers. This has such a positive effect on me and how I feel and I use that energy in my coaching sessions to lift and motivate my students.

I hope your September is going well and if you know of anyone that needs assistance with coaching then please contact me

Life is so busy for me at the moment both at home and at work. I am certainly looking forward to having a little more time after next week as my students finish for the summer holidays. The last two weeks have been particularly hectic with friends coming to stay, working through painting all the rooms in my house plus balancing work, exercise and everyday home stuff. I have decided that my goal for the summer holiday is to have all the painting completed by the time I return to school in September!

Goals play such an important part of my coaching work. They provide focus, structure and often a strategy to move my clients forward in order to succeed in whatever it is they want to do.

Just recently I have been working with a student with anger management issues and setting goals has made a significant difference to what happens next in her education. The authorities were considering a move to a different school which was not what she wanted. In her coaching sessions we talked about what would happen in the future if she didn’t change and what would be different if she did. Asking the right questions enabled my student to:

•  See things from different perspectives
• Make an informed decision of what she wants in the future
•  Set a variety of goals to achieve her required result

Her initial goals were:

• To avoid getting into any more trouble with other students
• To complete all school work and homework

To achieve her goals she was going to do the following:

• Build her awareness of anger triggers and symptoms
• Use the coping strategies in her toolbox
• Utilise her support network
• Shift her focus to having a better work ethic in school
• Recognise progress no matter how big/small

Over the last couple of weeks this young lady has made fantastic progress and achieved her goals. The school has now decided to give her a second chance and put the move on hold to see how she gets on. This is an outstanding result for my student and with further coaching I am sure she will go on and make an even bigger difference. I am also very impressed with her school for listening and giving her the opportunity to work with me to make that positive change.

If you know of someone or a student that is struggling and would benefit from working with me then please contact me.

This week has certainly given me something to think about following the result of the EU referendum. The outcome was not what I was expecting and I found that a little ‘self’ coaching was required to steady myself and refocus for a different future.

As the UK now faces a period of uncertainty and change the first thing I decided was to maintain my growth and positive mindset. Taking this approach enables me to keep an open mind, consider things from different perspectives and see the result as a challenge and an opportunity to learn.

As I coached my school students last week, it was interesting for me to listen to what they had to say about the EU. The majority wanted to remain in the EU as they felt it was good for the economy and would open up career opportunities for them outside of the UK. They also felt that it was easier to travel and work in EU countries with an EU passport and were concerned about this if we were to come out. It is a shame that most of these young people were unable to vote as the decision will certainly have an impact on their futures.

My Mum always used to say ‘A change is as good as a rest’ so with that in mind plus my positive approach and growth mindset I am ready to see what happens as we leave the EU.

If you are feeling uncertain following the referendum and need to refocus and set some new goals then please contact me.

I have just had a super weekend with a brilliant group of new coaching diploma students. It is unusual to get a female only group, and this weekend that is exactly what Curly Martin and I had. There was lots of learning and coaching plus the fun and banter was highly entertaining.

Working with a variety of ladies, including a recruitment director, a child protection chairperson and a young peoples support worker has been thought provoking and inspiring and the combination made for a most interesting weekend.

Watching this group of ladies on their coaching weekend has been amazing. Seeing them start out feeling uncomfortable and unsure, then watching them develop and grow as they implement Curly’s coaching techniques and strategies, is such a rewarding experience. I feel very privileged to have been part of their journey assisting them in their coaching education.

I really enjoy the variety that my coaching business gives me. Working with both young people and adults means my coaching skills are constantly developing in a variety of areas enabling me to grow into the outstanding coach and mentor that I want to be.

If you feel that life coaching will make a difference to you and your life then please contact me so that we can start to make that change.

This week I attended a presentation by Reading University’s Professor Laurie Butler, Head of School of Psychology and Clinical Language Sciences and some of his team regarding anxiety and depression in children and young people.

The evening was well attended by teachers and people who work with children and young people. We were told about local clinical research that is currently taking place regarding anxiety and depression in young people.  Schools and young people were advised to look at the Andy Research Clinic for useful information and how to get involved with the clinical research projects and who to contact.

They also talked about MindEd which provides E-Learning support for parents and professionals to support healthy young minds.

Professor Shirley Reynolds then spoke about ‘The Brave Program‘ which is a CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) treatment program which can be used for anxious or depressed teenagers. Clinical research shows  that this is an effective method of treating anxiety and depression in young people. During the Q&A session the clinical panel were asked about other therapies such as Hypnotherapy  and if it was an effective alternative, they had no clinical evidence and CBT was their only recommended form of treatment.

I found this rather interesting as in my experience of coaching all my students, I feel that a one size fits all approach is not always successful. I find looking at an individual’s needs and creating a specific strategy to enable them to cope and move forward is what gets them the best results. I may use some CBT as well as integrating NLP (neuro linguistic programming), Yoga and Mindfulness techniques. Combine that with some life and soft skills and so the transformation begins.

The Q&A panel also spoke about a ‘Whole School Approach’ which piqued everyone’s interest although there was very little information about it as it is still under construction. Having a whole school approach where all relevant people from parents, schools, CAMHs, childrens services, would mean that fewer children fall through the gap and there would be consistency in their treatment across the board.

I found the Q&A session at the end very useful and the variety of questions was very informative.  It certainly gave me food for thought on how to continue to grow and improve my practice so that I can make an even bigger difference to my students.

If you are interested in the service I provide to schools and my clients then please contact me.