Why is it that when we do something different, not only does it change our physical state, it alters our perspective and opinions, too?

I have had a week off from coaching as it has been the half term holidays, so here was my opportunity to do something new for me!

Not wanting to waste this time, I decided to make a plan of things I wanted to achieve over the week. My week was very busy and I am pleased to say that everything on my ‘to do’ list was completed and I exceeded my expectations in many respects.

A number of things on my list had been around for quite some time and were starting to get me down. Just writing them down and then putting a number of importance next to them kick started me into action and my energy levels started to rise. I was eager to start and once I had a few quick wins under my belt then the rest of my tasks easily followed suit.

The feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment was amazing, especially knowing that I had:

• Cleaned my entire house
• Spent quality time with my daughter
• Lay in bed and rested
• Rung my Auntie to catch up
• Bought four new car tyres
• Been to the opticians and had my eyes tested
• Gone to a new Yoga class taught by a friend
• Completed my assignments for my Mindfulness Diploma
• Finished a book that I have had on the go for some time – and started a new one
• Been to the Dentist for a check up
• Spent quality time with friends and family having supper and enjoying their company
• Defrosted my garage freezer (I have been getting round to doing this for the last 2 years!)

A lot of my tasks were very simple but I had allowed them to build up and, as a result, so had the pressure of not succeeding. Making a list and factoring in some time made a huge difference and once I saw some tasks ticked off my list then there was no stopping me! My plan for my Mindfulness Diploma was to get eight of the eleven assignments done, and completing all of them and submitting my work for marking was way beyond what I originally planned to do. It just goes to show how outstanding we can be if we prepare, plan and organise our time.

The positive impact of my achievements means that I will return to work, able to coach my students in an even more happy, confident and energised state, and who knows what amazing and outstanding results will come from it!

Completing tasks and doing something different can be very fulfilling and motivating. So go on, tempt those taste buds with something new! See what you can achieve  and who knows what positive effect it will have on your working week.

I have had a fantastic week. I have had success both in coaching my students and also in taking on a completely new experience. In both cases I obtained results which enabled me to get to that amazing ‘sense of achievement’ feeling.

Firstly, this week I signed off one of my students who came to me initially because of panic and anxiety attacks. We have been working on different techniques and building up a toolbox of coping strategies, especially distraction tools such as:

• Focused breathing
• Mind games using counting, the alphabet and films
• Visualisation of peaceful, happy, calm experiences
• Circle of Excellence and the necessary skills
• Change of State, using music or personal experiences
• Planning and preparation for events

Building these tools and discussing how to use them has been pivotal in increasing my student’s confidence and self-esteem. Through regular practice at home and in low stress situations she has fine tuned her technique to perfection. She now has the knowledge and expertise to apply the right strategy in a confident and self assured manner in order to succeed. Watching a student on their journey of discovery and seeing them turn a corner is the reason I do this job – and what an amazing experience it is.

Secondly, I had lots of fun doing something completely different with my family and friends over the weekend. We all went for an off road Segway experience in the woods. Although the weather was a little uncertain and the conditions wet, we were not put off. The fear of the unknown was certainly apparent as we set off through the woods, slightly unbalanced and wobbly as we flew over tree roots and up and down water filled ditches. Going through my first ditch certainly increased my fear factor and my adrenalin level but I pushed through this uncomfortable zone and succeeded. The sense of achievement afterwards was amazing and I am so glad I did it. By the time our session came to an end it was amazing to see the transformation we had gone through in an hour. We went from apprehensive, wobbly, nervous students to steady, confident and excited Segway drivers.

Having fun and being happy certainly changes our state of mind so when we experience feelings like that, how differently do we look at our world and what is happening to us? The happiness we get from success also has a major impact on the action we take and the results we get. Have an outstanding half term everyone – get out there and have some fun, and see what a positive effect it has.

My post last week talked about Coaching Teenagers and Horses and the similarities between them. This week I will be covering the importance of bringing the two groups together and what they can offer to each other.

In my experience, horses can be a very important part of a young person’s growth, development and learning. Whether it is down on the ground or in the saddle, equines have a tremendous influence on people in a very powerful way. Horses can assist with relationship building, communication, responsibility, assertiveness, enjoyment and contentment in a very natural and rewarding way.

Horses are very social animals, just like humans, and have defined roles within the herd that are similar to a family hierarchy. They are flight animals and very sensitive to change in their habitual environment which is not unlike human beings. Spending time with horses can provide benefits on a mental, emotional, spiritual and physical level. Just being around horses can be very therapeutic, especially for teenagers that are struggling with life issues like self-harm, anger management, behavioural disorders, lack of confidence and self-esteem.

Interacting with horses, whether for sport or leisure, enables young people to develop important life skills and put them into practice. Caring and taking responsibility for an equine can be essential therapy for young people. It assists in shifting the focus from their own personal life to that of the horse and breaks the acute anxiety spiral of emotional thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Having another life to consider naturally creates a change in thinking and a focus on the action that needs to be taken especially in the here and now.

These opportunities are available to young people using the services of charity organisations like JAC (Just Around The Corner).  Or, as an equine enthusiast, you could reach out to a teenager you know and introduce them to your horse. A morning spent grooming and performing some basic ground work could be a trigger for their interest and well-being plus you get help with the mucking out!

I had an interesting conversation this week in one of my group coaching sessions. We were discussing the topic of sensitive young people and effective ways of avoiding conflict when dealing with them. Talking to the group about my experience of teenagers with problems made me realise how similar the effective methods are when working with horses.

When talking to my teenage students in recent months I have encountered eating disorders, bullying, anger management and especially lack of stability and boundaries at home. I also have personal experience of owning a difficult horse and I know what it takes to improve their quality of life, build a relationship and communicate effectively with them in order to obtain results and stay safe.
Both horses and sensitive teenagers display the characteristics of the fight/flight instinct. These can manifest themselves in a variety of different behaviours but all need to be dealt with in a calm and low key way.

If information is to be digested, processed and acted upon, a number of common approaches can help effective and successful communication:

• The avoidance of raised adrenalin levels is very important
• Listen actively to what your subject has to say and do not interrupt (this is also relevant in the equine world!)
• Open and confident body language, gentle gestures and the correct pitch and tonality creates an environment of trust
• Setting your student up to win and not to fail will encourage and motivate them to increase their learning and confidence.

For example,  raised adrenalin levels can prevent your nervous and stressed horse from loading effectively into a horsebox – and also prevent an anxious teenager from controlling their anger or responding to advice.

A very effective refinement is to be aware of your subject’s sensitivity in these areas and to adapt your own approach accordingly. If you are working with teenagers or horses, these simple approaches will surely increase your chance of positive results and a successful outcome.

You could now also apply my techniques on choices and control from a solid starting point.