Signing off a student is such a fantastic feeling – especially when I have been coaching them over a long period of time. A student I have been working with recently has made outstanding progress and changed his whole approach to life both in and out of school.

He initially came to me as a very angry, aggressive and frustrated person who regularly spent time in the school office being disciplined. In our initial session he told me that he had tried everything, nothing worked and he had seen it all before. He also said that nobody ever listened to him – so what was the point! I explained that he had never worked with me before, that I would listen to him, and that coaching takes a different approach to what he had done previously. We talked about how important it was for him to change his behaviour and what the outcome would be if he didn’t. He quickly confirmed he was 100% committed to taking action and we agreed to work together.

Here are some of the key areas we covered in our sessions:

• Created a specific toolbox of anger management strategies
• Talked about the difference between real causes for anger and what is just an irritation or annoyance
• Discussed how many times we have to do something before it becomes a new habit
• How people vary, their behaviour and the different ways they process information
• Things are not always black or white, right or wrong – it is ok to differ or even consider the possibility that it could be grey!
• We looked at what was important to him in life, his core values and how he was living his life in line with those values
• We explored his beliefs, what he is currently capable of and what he would like to do in the future
• That he can only control his behaviour and actions and not other peoples
• Identified that he is the only person responsible for his actions/behaviour
• Helped him work on his school/life balance
• Have fun in his leisure time and do more of what makes him happy

To move him forward from his initial angry and frustrated situation over to a more relaxed, calm and happy state, I needed to ask the right questions and actively listen to what he had to say. He was then able to  acknowledge and identify what he needed to change and therefore create his own strategy for success.

I am pleased to say that since our first couple of sessions, he has not been involved in fighting with his classmates and has not been back to the school office. Giving him a foundation of coping strategies meant he could go away, try different things and work out for himself where he obtained the best success and then do more of it.

If you know somebody that is struggling with anger management and could benefit from a coaching mindset – please contact me.

This week Radio 1 has been covering the very sad story of fourteen year old Izzy Dix who took her own life after telling her Mum that bullying at Brixham College was making her life hell. I listened to the devastating details and the heartbreak her family have had to endure and felt that nobody should have to go through that.

I have certainly seen an increase in school students requiring coaching around bullying issues. In my experience, the most successful outcomes arise when multiple parties get involved. That   includes parents, friends, family and school staff. The forward-thinking schools that employ counsellors and coaches to assist students through the bullying minefield, are definitely improving the chances of a successful resolution and also helping to provide coping strategies for the future.

When I coach a student and bullying is a factor, here are some of the things that I do to encourage them to move forward:

• Speak to the school to clarify their policy on bullying and make sure that the student is also fully aware of it
• Listen actively to my student so that I can also hear what they are not saying about the situation
• Clarify what my student  sees as bullying and what is not
• Find out what they want to happen and what they do not want happening in their lives
• Encourage them to build their support network of family, friends, and teachers so that they have someone to turn to both in and out of school
• Get them to understand communication is key for their support network to work effectively
• Help them take control and create choice for themselves
• Build coping strategies specifically for my student
• Coach students on all areas of life including health, wealth, relationships, career, school/work, spirituality, contribution and fun
• Increase confidence and self-esteem
• Set goals to enable them to shift their focus to something else
• Find out what is important to them in life and identify their core values
• Get them to do more of what makes them happy

In most cases, if the student is prepared to take action and follow this framework they will achieve results and move forward.

Please do let me know if you have found this useful – or if you or your school is interested in finding out more about what I do then please contact me.

Have you ever made a change in your life and then not maintained your success?  Ever reverted back to an old habit after making good progress towards your original goal? Did you ask yourself what was it that stopped you from obtaining long term success? If you did not ask yourself that question then that could be the reason why you did not fully accomplish your goal in the first place.

Successful people always do the following in order to succeed:

• Reflect on their progress by looking at what went well and also what did not go so well
• Stay in control no matter how tough the situation is
• Move on if something is not working
• Tolerate discomfort and work through situations until they achieve what they want
• Embrace change and always be prepared to try
• Think productively and expend their energy wisely
• Constantly evaluate their core beliefs
• Maintain a happy and positive outlook
• Kind and mindful of others
• Take calculated risks
• Have an abundance of staying power
• Accept full responsibility for their actions and behaviour
• Work alone or as part of a team
• Recognise and acknowledge the hardwork of others
• Maintain a good Work/Life Balance

Following the above principles will enable you to build your mental strength and increase your ability to succeed and maintain the changes you want to make in life. If you require assistance in making a change in your life then please contact me.

It is that time of year where young people are going back to school and parents are returning to their usual work routine. Quite often over the summer holidays parents change their working habits to be around more for children by working from home, changing working hours or taking time off. Come September, the transition back to normal daily routine commences. For parents and students this can be a difficult and unsettling period – resulting in an increase of panic and anxiety.

Here are my top 5 tips for a successful transition back to your school or work environment this week:

• Emotional Intelligence – Be aware of your own feelings and those around you, be mindful and act accordingly. Set yourself up for success rather than failure
• Mindset – Maintain a growth mindset rather than being fixed, be open to opportunities, look for positives in all situations, reflect on experiences and do more of what is working for you and less of what is not!
• Goals – Have a focus, put plans and strategies in place, monitor your progress and celebrate your successes
• Communication – Avoid disappointment and frustration by talking to family, friends and colleagues. Be clear about what you want to happen and do not leave things to chance
• Fun – Know what makes you happy, contented and joyful and do lots of it and when the going gets tough your joyful times will help you through and assist you with the work/life balance

Being flexible, embracing change and having things to look forward to will certainly contribute towards a more smooth transition back to school/work.

If you are struggling to make a change then life coaching could be the solution especially if you want to change something in one of the following areas:

Health and Lifestyle

Wealth

Relationships

Leisure

Career

Contribution/Charity

Spirituality

If you want to propel yourself into positivity then contact me