When I first started coaching in schools I expected to encounter issues with lack of confidence, low self-esteem, bullying, and friendship concerns. I had not considered that eating disorders would also feature so frequently in my coaching sessions.

Over the last twelve months I have learnt so much about this controlling condition and the effect Bulimia has on a human being and their ability to function in daily life.  Some of the typical side effects of this type of disorder are:

• Feeling low or mood swings
• Nervousness, panic and anxiety
• Feeling emotional and unable to cope with life’s ups and downs
• Lack of motivation
• Tiredness and exhaustion
• Lack of concentration and an inability to stay focused
• Distorted or irrational thinking
• Heightened obsessiveness and compulsiveness
• Low confidence and self-esteem
• Lack of personal self-care around eating, drinking, showering, hair washing, teeth cleaning
• Inability to communicate, detachment and secretive tendencies

Combining the above effects and the pressure of work, school or exams can then create a vicious cycle of thoughts, feelings and behaviours. This cycle can only be broken by identifying negative triggers and actions – and taking a different approach.

Bulimia can also have a domino effect on particular social groups, so if one member binges and purges then others may follow.

Coaching people on life and soft skills enables them to discover their core values and beliefs, and then identify if the way they are currently living their life is putting these into conflict. A strategy can then be developed to rectify problem areas and achieve results.

Combining coaching and help from eating disorder professionals in the NHS or private sector, as early as possible, is so important to overcome Bulimia . There are a variety of therapies available and finding the right one for the individual concerned is essential.

Keeping communication lines open, being non-judgemental and providing a  supportive environment is also crucial when assisting individuals with this type of condition.

Through networking I have been introduced to Julie Kerr from Bulimia Free. She uses her own personal experience to assist individuals to become Bulimia Free and she provides lots of excellent information on her website regarding:

• Myths and Misconceptions
• Losses and Gains of Bulimia

Julie has been a great source of information and support in assisting me with my students with eating disorders. If you know somebody suffering with Bulimia and do not know where to turn then this could be a good place to start.

Or if you feel that coaching could help you address an issue in this area then contact me.

Just a short post this week as it has been a very busy week for me both on the coaching and business front.

First I attended Thames Valley Expo, a new business seminar at Green Park in Reading. I met some interesting local business people offering a variety of innovative services. I made some useful new contacts especially in a ladies networking session and also met up with a colleague who I have not seen for many years from my days in the oil and gas exploration business. He has since gone on to set up his own company and we will be arranging to catch up very soon.

I then tried something new which made me step outside my comfort zone. I participated in speed networking and what an interesting experience it was. I met some fascinating individuals, gained knowledge about lots of different people and their business operations and acquired lots of business cards in forty five minutes. It was very noisy and I had a dry throat afterwards but it was great fun. I would advise drinking plenty of water before, during and after speed networking to keep your focus, concentration and hydration levels topped up and prevent coming away with a headache. If you have not tried it then go and give it a go and see what you think.

Following on from that I have spent the weekend assisting Curly Martin from Achievement Specialists Limited, coaching her new set of Life Coaching Diploma students in London. There is no better way to spend a weekend than meeting new people, watching and assisting them on their developmental journey and seeing an amazing coach and mentor in action. After the weekend, I have come away even more excited, energised and motivated, and I know my coming week will be an outstanding one.

An very interesting week indeed!

Working with young people and coaching them to a happier and more successful life is such an amazing experience for me. Observing my students on their transformational journey and seeing the difference it makes is certainly what motivates and drives me forward.

The Berkshire schools I work with present me with a constant stream of challenging young people and this enables me to use my creativity, intuitive nature and outside of the box thinking to coach students towards successful, strategic solutions.

I have had some outstanding feedback this week from a student at one of my schools, which is always a great experience for me.

My pupil’s feedback form explained that having the opportunity to talk to me regarding things that she could not talk to other people about and being encouraged to be more open were most useful to her. Our sessions had enabled her to:

• Be more confident towards others
• Feel more strong as a person
• Talk to people about problems or issues
• Remember what personal qualities she has

As far as the need for further improvement, she felt there was nothing more I could do as she had improved enough. She thanked me for all that I had done in making her feel better about herself and how to cope through hard times and she would be sorry not to see me next week.

The school totally agreed with the student feedback and confirmed that since the start of our sessions there had been no further visits to her form tutor which previously had been a regular occurrence. An excellent result for both my student and the school.

There is no better job for me than coaching life and soft skills to young people and seeing the benefits they gain from it as they move towards adulthood. Observing the transformation and improvement in their confidence and self-belief when they overcome obstacles, fears and insecurities, then watching them take action to get their desired result, is absolutely amazing. That is what inspires me and makes me so passionate about what I do.

I was reminded this week of how young people can totally underestimate the reach and power of social media.

During one of my coaching sessions my student appeared very troubled and spoke to me about a social media issue that had come to her attention. Basically two of her classmates had created a profile on a dating website for another pupil and used a school email address for the profile contact details. The pupil was totally unaware of what had been done.

Through the discussion I was able to help my student to identify how wrong this was:

• This was an adult website and the pupil was a minor
• They had input the pupil’s details without consent
• Inappropriate use of school email address
• Risk of exposure to strangers who trawl dating websites
• The severity of the whole situation

The other two classmates were oblivious to the serious nature of what they had done and thought it was just a bit of fun. Fortunately my student realised it was not funny and was adult and mature enough to raise it with me. I then raised it with the school as a safeguarding issue so that the profile could be deleted as soon as possible.

Coaching young people on the principles of life and making the right decision is not always easy. They are often worried about the risk of becoming unpopular by telling the truth.  I always coach my students to act with kindness, compassion, honesty and integrity. Being mindful of those core values and using them while they are young is an excellent foundation for adulthood and a successful working life.

Doing the right thing is never the easiest decision to make and getting young people to understand that is a constant challenge in my coaching life!

As I progress as a coach, more and more of my sessions focus on how to reduce panic, anxiety and stress. I have seen a significant increase in these concerns in young people, specifically in secondary education.

These issues were just not familiar to me when I was in my teens.  In those days anxiety and stress were issues for adults that worked too hard, not for young people! Being a teenager was more carefree in my day.

So what has changed for so many young people to be affected?

In my experience, pressure is the main factor in the majority of cases and this tends to come from peers, school, family and social media. The focus on academic results and public awareness of them puts students under an enormous amount of pressure to exceed or maintain the previous year’s results.

As the education environment constantly changes, so does the requirement for supporting students who are not coping with this increase in pressure. School pastoral teams are being asked to educate students regarding coping methods and strategies and how to use them to combat stress and anxiety.

Most schools offer a counselling service, although more forward thinking schools are also promoting coaching – which is more about taking action rather than a talking therapy. Coaching enables students to build confidence, increase self-esteem, consider different perspectives and take action and control in order to achieve specific goals. Focusing on the soft skills of communication, body language and building rapport is an essential part of the coaching process, especially in preparation for education and career progression.

Integrating techniques such as Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) enables me to coach my students and clients effectively, helping them to build a toolbox  of coping mechanisms to deal with stress and anxiety, no matter how it manifests itself.  Some of the techniques I use are:

• Visualisation
• Breathing
• Mind Games
• Mindfulness
• Meditation
• Distraction
• Tapping

To find out which techniques are most suitable for your situation, you could attend workshops or read self help books. Alternatively, if you prefer a more personal approach tailored to your needs then why not contact me?